Toby Tarrant: Jordan Spieth needs protecting at all costs
Jordan Spieth of the United States lines up a putt on the sixth green during day two of the World Golf Championships-Dell Technologies Match Play at Austin Country Club on March 23, 2023 in Austin, Texas. (Photo by Tom Pennington/Getty Images).
It's been another bonkers few weeks in the world of golf with players debating how far the ball should be able to go, more mudslinging between those involved with LIV and the PGA and some of the professionals just really, really want to wear shorts.
But in the ever-changing landscape of the sport nowadays there is one reassuring constant that we can always rely on and it's this:
Jordan Spieth is box office.
The Valspar Championship was a perfectly enjoyable tournament the other week and there were a few interesting storylines brewing as the days went on. Englishman Tommy Fleetwood was once again in the hunt for his maiden PGA victory whilst Taylor Moore and Adam Schenk were two of the more unfamiliar names in with a chance of winning on Sunday.
But if you asked most golf fans why they really tuned in to the final day it was because Jordan Spieth was involved in the hunt for victory and that usually means drama.
Jordan Spieth celebrates on the 16th green during the Final Round of the DEAN & DELUCA Invitational at Colonial Country Club on May 29, 2016 in Fort Worth, Texas. (Photo by Tom Pennington/Getty Images).
The bizarre thing about Spieth is he's not an obvious entertainer. He doesn't have the whacky wardrobe of Ian Poulter, the showmanship of Miguel Angel Jimenez, the pure comedic chaos of John Daly. He's not a circus clown, he's not walking around the course with a spinning bow tie and a flower on his shirt that sprays out water and yet he is unwittingly fascinating, he's great to watch and at times hilarious without even meaning to be.
Every round he plays the cameras pick up Spieth talking to his golf ball in mid-flight with cries of "bite", "be good", "get lucky", "get in the bunker", "be the club", which are all common expressions you would hear on any golf course at the weekend, but there's something about the anguish and the despair in his voice that makes it so entertaining.
“The bizarre thing about Spieth is he’s not an obvious entertainer. ”
If he's not talking to the ball then he's talking to himself after a shot and chuntering away, "Oh Jordan what a huge mistake that is", "Jordan why did you hit that so thin" or even once a rather harsh, "Man… I hate you". It sometimes feels like a round of golf for him is half sport, half therapy and that's something anyone who has ever picked up a golf club can relate to. What's beautiful about watching Spieth is that he's saying what frustrated amateur golfers say to themselves on a weekly basis - except he's doing it on the PGA Tour.
And of course, every great comedian needs a straight man and in this instance Jordan Spieth's caddy Michael Greller unknowingly plays his role perfectly. Spieth talks Greller through most of his shots in painstaking detail, before and after, and one of the most amusing sights in golf is looking at the dismay in Greller's face as Jordan talks him through his latest hare-brained idea. They’re professional golf's version of Pinky and the Brain (Google it, kids).
“I’ve said it before here on ‘The Cut Stuff’ that golf is about entertainment and yet it sometimes feels like that is forgotten about in all the politics and stuffy old white men in blazers but if Jordan Spieth is around entertainment will never be too far away. ”
And it's not just Spieth's quirks and mannerisms that make him a sports fan's dream to watch, he is after all an incredible golfer, but the great players have a game which matches their personality and Spieth is an example of that. His golf game can jump between the sublime and the ridiculous from day to day or even shot to shot in the same way his emotions seem to shift from hope to despair and ecstasy to misery.
That unpredictability is part of what makes Spieth so good to watch, it sometimes feels like he's as likely to eagle the next hole as he is to triple bogey it. His career has in many ways mirrored one of his chaotic rounds with its constant ups and downs, from being Rookie of the year in 2013 and racing to three major wins we have since seen him take a tumble down the world rankings and see him rise back up them again. No doubt Spieth himself would rather be renowned for being much more consistent and a habitual cold-blooded winner like Tiger Woods but from a fans point of view that wouldn't make nearly as great telly...
Jordan Spieth signs autographs for fans as he carries his bag off the range during practice for the PGA Championship on The Ocean Course at Kiawah Island Golf Resort on May 17, 2021, in Kiawah Island, South Carolina. (Photo by Keyur Khamar/PGA TOUR via Getty Images).
I've said it before here on 'The Cut Stuff' that golf is about entertainment and yet it sometimes feels like that is forgotten about in all the politics and stuffy old white men in blazers but if Jordan Spieth is around entertainment will never be too far away. In March alone Spieth has gone close to winning the Valspar Championship, he's made the cut at the Players Championship thanks to hitting a fans leg which stopped the ball going in the water and this weekend at the WGC-Dell Technologies Matchplay he hit two fans with one shot, breaking one of their phones. Not content with enough chaos for one tournament Spieth flopped in to win his second match on Thursday and then accidentally swore in his post-round interview. All in a month's work for Jordan.
He needs protecting at all costs.
Toby Tarrant is a new columnist to The Cut Stuff casting a monthly irreverent look on the world of golf.
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