Toby Tarrant: will the real Scott Stallings please stand up?
Scott Stallings hits out of the bunker during the third round of the 2012 Masters Tournament at Augusta National Golf Club on April 7, 2012 in Augusta, Georgia. (Photo by Streeter Lecka/Getty Images).
It’s January, which means us golf fans can start salivating at the thought of a massive year ahead and the first men’s major, The Masters, is no longer a distant fantasy.
It feels like just yesterday we were watching 2021’s winner Hideki Matsuyama helping last year’s champion Scottie Scheffler into the famous green jacket - a ritual that is always beautifully awkward for all involved - but in April once again, all eyes will be on Augusta and the most iconic week in the golf calendar.
The best golfers in the world, legends of the game and some of the most talented amateurs around will be there, all hoping to write their names into the history books. Unfortunately, one man who will not be playing is Scott Stallings, a realtor from Georgia and “occasional golfer” who was accidentally invited to this year's event. Due to a frankly hilarious mistake the invitation, which was intended for professional golfer Scott Stallings, somehow wound up in his namesake’s mailbox instead. Mr. Stallings contacted the other Mr. Stallings (confused yet?) on Instagram to let him know, and once the story was shared with the world, social media took huge delight in the mix-up.
“I believe that the tournament organisers have missed a trick and that “occasional golfer” Scott Stallings should be allowed to play in the tournament. ”
To their credit both men have dealt with the whole episode in good humour and Scott Stallings (the realtor) has been invited by Scott Stallings (the golfer) to watch the practice rounds at Augusta. They are also going out for dinner in the evening with their wives who, in a brilliant final funny twist that even the Two Ronnies would be proud of, are both called… Jennifer. You couldn't make it up.
Now whilst this is a lovely gesture, for me this isn't enough. For a couple of reasons, I believe that the tournament organisers have missed a trick and that "occasional golfer” Scott Stallings should be allowed to play in the tournament. The first reason is an obvious one: he was invited! They did technically send an invitation to his house with his name on it. If he hadn't been so honest about the accident, he would have surely been within his rights to turn up in April with his clubs and his invitation in hand asking, “which way to the first tee?”. Possession is nine-tenths of the law and all that.
He should also be allowed to play purely for our entertainment. Sport is supposed to be entertaining and golf is sometimes guilty of forgetting that. The idea of a bloke hacking his way down the fairway whilst the members of Augusta look on pale and horrified is a wonderful image. Plus, if you were lucky enough to have a ticket to day one, surely you would choose to follow him on his round? He'd attract a crowd we've not seen since Tiger Woods was in his prime. Imagine 40,000 people watching him duff a chip shot or taking four shots to get out of a bunker. It would be glorious.
Scott Stallings plays his son Finn during the Par 3 Contest prior the start of the 78th Masters Golf Tournament at Augusta National Golf Club on April 9, 2014 in Augusta, Georgia. (TIMOTHY A. CLARY/AFP via Getty Images)
And finally, wouldn't it be great to have a casual golfer, a mere mortal like the rest of us, to provide a little context. How difficult is Augusta, really? All week the commentators tell us about the lightning-fast greens, steep sand traps and impossible lies until eventually you become numb to how difficult the conditions really are. So why not put it into terms we can relate to and let Stallings have a go on behalf of high handicappers all around the world? In 2020 Tiger Woods, the greatest golfer of all time, made a 7-over-par ten on the 12th hole. I reckon Mr. Stallings could manage five times as many shots as that, easily.
And this idea needn't be exclusively for golf either. Let’s just chuck him into everything so we can see how good the pros really are. I want to see him doing the pole vault at the Olympics or running the 100 metres. Maybe give him some boxing gloves and put him in a ring with Tyson Fury? Let's see what the supposed experts are really made of.
So, whilst golf fans are right to be excited about the year ahead and the Masters being just a few months away, I can’t help but dream about what might have been.
Justice for Scott Stallings (not that one, the other one).
Toby Tarrant is a new columnist to The Cut Stuff casting a monthly irreverent look on the world of golf.
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