Toby Tarrant: Tony Finau is perfect in every single way. What a bastard.
Tony Finau of the United States, his wife Alyna and their children pose for a picture after the final round of the Mexico Open at Vidanta on April 30, 2023 in Puerto Vallarta, Jalisco. (Photo by Hector Vivas/Getty Images).
Tony Finau is so cool. On the course he strolls around looking like a cross between a golfer and a Beastie Boy with his never-ending array of caps and Nike Air Max trainers.
Back in 2020 at the Phoenix Waste Management Open he turned up to the iconic 16th hole in a Kobe Bryant jersey after the passing of his sporting hero. With emotions running high and thousands of drunk college students watching he proceeded to drain a long birdie putt and without missing a beat celebrated by pretending to shoot a basketball in tribute to his icon. Like I say, Tony Finau is so cool.
Not only that but he's also a really good golfer. At the end of the day there is nothing cooler in sport than winning. Take Ricky Fowler for example, he has some pretty snazzy clothes too... but he hasn't done a lot of winning recently. Fowler would happily trade his entire wardrobe and play naked in exchange for what Finau has achieved recently.
A couple of years ago Finau was seen as a nearly man; an undeniably talented golfer who could mix it with the best but due to either a lack of technique or a lack of mettle someone who couldn't quite bring the trophy home. Those criticisms are now a thing of the past as he picked up his fourth win in just 18 starts after finishing first at the Mexican Open last weekend.
Tony Finau of the United States plays his shot on hole #9 during Round Two at the Wells Fargo Championship at Quail Hollow Club on May 5, 2023 in Charlotte, North Carolina. (Photo by Jason Allen/ISI Photos/Getty Images).
However, if Tony Finau the golfer is impressive then Tony Finau the human being is even better. His rise to the top of golf is not your classic American tale of someone who grew up playing at the country club with his father and had access to the best coaches and facilities a kid could ask for. Instead, Tony Finau learned to play golf in his family home’s garage by repeatedly hitting golf balls at a mattress until his hands would bleed. To go from a garage in Rose Park, Utah to the picture-perfect golf courses of the PGA Tour is a wonderful underdog story.
The fact is that Finau has never had it easy and when he spoke about Kobe Bryant's passing he compared the emotions he felt that day to those he felt when his mother devastatingly passed away a decade earlier in a car accident. Perhaps this tragedy is why he is clearly such a wonderfully dedicated family man.
“In the future all sportsmen and women should have to make a choice: you can be an amazing athlete or an amazing person but not both. That’s not fair.”
In the last few months golf fans have seen first-hand Finau's beautiful relationships with his wife and army of children. Firstly, during the recent Netflix fly-on-the-wall documentary 'Full Swing' and then again as he proudly walked around the Augusta Par 3 tournament with his spouse and mini-Finaus a few weeks ago. Then this week social media was filled with love for Finau as photos emerged of him carrying his sons’ golf bags on a nearby course just hours after he had lifted the Mexican Open trophy. When asked about the photos in a typically understated response he replied, "my boys were counting on me".
When you add it all up Tony Finau is essentially a tall, handsome, suave and fashionable family man who also happens to be one of the best golfers in the world. So with that in mind can I please be the first to say:
What a bastard.
How dare he? How are mere mortals like the rest of us supposed to compete with human beings like that? How am I supposed to look my wife in the eyes every day knowing that there's a man out there like him? He's making the rest of us look bad.
In the future all sportsmen and women should have to make a choice: you can be an amazing athlete or an amazing person but not both. That's not fair.
Toby Tarrant is a new columnist to The Cut Stuff casting a monthly irreverent look on the world of golf.
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